Last night we had a cell meeting
at home welcoming us to the new are we have just moved to. It seems they do
things a little differently than we did in our previous cell and it looks like
it will be interesting. Anyway, I will not dive into the details of the
differences as that is not the subject of my thoughts today. Rather they
concern a subject that is very important for our times but which I am a bit
apprehensive to dive into because of my inexperience and also because I myself
am in the process of learning more about it. The subject is Biblical mandhood.
A friend has been asking me to jot down my thoughts on this and I have been
very reluctant, but last night’s proceedings have ignited something.
At the cell meeting, we did a
Bible Study on 1 Peter 3:1-7. Immediately I turned the scripture I could almost
guess where the discussion would be headed. That portion of scripture gives
instructions to women on how they are to relate with their husbands and in the
last verse, verse 7, it deals with how men should treat/relate with their
wives. Discussions on such scriptures are almost 90% of the time focused
telling women what their place is and what they ought to do in the family. Very
rarely will men be addressed.
Yet from last night, it was
interesting to note that although 6 of the 7 verses dealt with women, it was
the men who had a punishment for not abiding by the scriptures. The women are
told to submit and to have godly character, and there is no repercussion to
their disobedience to the exhortation, yet for the men we are told that if they
did not abide by the scriptures, then their prayers would not be heard.
Now, instead of men taking time
to seriously consider this, most will concentrate on the larger portion, yet
the one that addresses them has got very serious consequences. I always find
that interesting. Or indeed a study on Ephesians 5:21-32, men will concentrate
on the portion that says women must submit and forget the huge responsibility
that Paul gives them.
As a man or rather I should say
as a male myself, I am often challenged by these scriptures. I am currently
reading 2 books, “The Dignity of Manhood” by GbileAkanni and “Maximised
Manhood” by Dr. Edwin Louis Cole. Both authors agree that being a male is a
matter of birth, one has no say in this, but being a man is a matter of choice
and it is something one must commit themselves to. This is because God has
given males a very huge responsibility that only men can take up. Hopefully in
the near future I will write a study on the scriptures concerning men, but
today let me just point out a few things and these were also spoken at the
Bible study. Mind you, I am not discrediting the role of women but I just want
to highlight a few things.
A careful look at the lives of
some of the most successful women will reveal that their father’s played a
significant role in putting them on that path for success. For those in Africa,
it was their fathers who encouraged to proceed with school and not be given
away in marriage or take part in some of the cultural practices like coming of
age ceremonies that are known to have cut short many girls’ progress in life.
Fathers also determine the type
of man their daughters will marry. It seems like men who abuse their wives are
setting up their daughters to suffer the same abuse in marriage[1].
Studies have shown that for the girl child her greatest and most effective
cheerleader is her father or a father figure in her life. This goes against the
traditional thinking that the girl child belongs to the mother while the boys
are for the father.
These are just studies done by
people reflecting the importance of having men take their rightful place in
society beginning first in the family. Men have been said to be the providers
for the family, but I believe this provision has been narrowed down too much to
such financial provision. Men ought to provide vision for the family, they
ought to provide spiritual guidance as well as discipline and focus. It is
interesting that the Bible refers to men as being the head of their wives. All
the instruments of discernment, of hearing, of sensing and coordination are
located in the head giving a reflection of the role men are to play in the
family.
You will note that I have
concentrated on the family. This is because the family is not only the first
institution established by God, it is also the basic unit of society. If you
break the family then you have destroyed the whole of society. By focusing our
attention on women, we are really failing to see the root of a lot of the
problems in our society which is men who have not taken their rightful role and
are carrying out their responsibility. If men arose and took their rightful
place, a lot of the problems we face today would not be there.
Men want women to submit, but
are unwilling to submit themselves first under the headship of Christ. They
want women to revere them, yet they do not revere God. If men did the things
they want women to do with respect to their relation to God i.e. if men
submitted themselves before God and revered Him, then they would be able to
take up their responsibility for the
benefit of the whole society.
So to the men reading this, are
you ready to take your place and stop pointing fingers at women? First do what is required of you, choose to be the man God has called you to be.
With the above said, I should be telling you of some meetings designed specifically for young men in the coming weeks.
[1]
This actually got me thinking about what Jacob did with his Uncle’s flock when
he was cheated from his share. Jacob had the sheep and goats mate where they
came to drink and they would see a reflection of the pealed almond and poplar
trees that were now stripped. As a result of this, they bore offspring that was
stripped. I guess that is what happens where the reflection we see in the
family as children becomes a reflection of our family when we grow up. Of
course God is gracious and such cycles can be and are broken.
Before I forget, let me agree with you; being a man is indeed a matter of choice. And I dare say manhood/maturity is not a certain age in life, it is, instead, a state. which is just another way of saying it has very little, if anything, to do with age.
ReplyDeleteA point on the scriptures, some cited above, that touch on the issue of women submitting to men, which I will connect with something you have also said:
Most times, those who speak against women's submission do so on the basis that the men will take advantage of the women; i.e. exploit them in one way or another... Mhmm... I disagree that men will simply take advantage of women, vis-a-vis Christian men: that is because Christian men, in theory at-least, will strive to love their women as Christ loved the church, and will, themselves, submit to a higher authority... (I hope this makes as much sense as it does in my head). Also, such men, who submit to God, and whose pursuit is to earnestly love their women as God loved the church will, causally, make it easier for their women to abide by such scripture on submission as is quoted above.
and, such Christian 'actually' exist, not just hypothetically. I know quite a number of them. and since I know more than one of such men, then I conclude that the assertion that men will take advantage of women who submit to them is false, vis-a-vis Christian men, certainly!
Blessings... you are right in saying that one of the reasons people speak against submission of women is the fear/notion that they will be taken advantage of.. yet that portion in 1 Peter 3.. verse 1 in particular and if you consider the context.. says exactly that.. women run the risk of being taken advantage of.. and our natural instinct is for self preservation hence they will choose to do the opposite and not submit... but so often we see the Bible telling us to do things contrary to what will be to our comfort... but for me.. the issue still remains with men.. we need to stop pointing at all the wrong things women are doing and own up to our shortfalls... if we were doing the right thing.. which is submitting to God first.. then the women would not have those fears...
ReplyDeletemy thesis is that alot of the problems we face in society are as a result of the breakdown of the family.. which I consider to be mainly due to the fact that men have, since Adam, abdicated from their role as leaders/heads.. many of our problems are leadership problems and they start in the family.. men will want the title of head of the family but not the responsibility it entails.. and that creates a vacuum that women cannot fill, however much they may try or no matter what the world may tell them today...
so women have their issues yes.. but let us first deal with our own log that is in our eye as men before we go out and deal with their speck.. plus we are ultimately accountable to God who set the standard and not to women or the world.. Creflo Dollar once said that.. men you need to deal with your issues first regardless of what your spouse is doing for you are not accountable to her.. and the excuse that you were waiting for her to do her bit first will not carry weight when you are before God...
all in all though.. we are in agreement... if men do what is required of them.. they will not take advantage of a woman's submission... and yes there are examples out there.. just that maybe sometimes they are not so evident to us..
thanks for your comment bro...